Saturday, March 11, 2006

'I shall remain strong'...I am not strong, I am weak, but in weakness strength exists.

'Do you carry a knife?'

asked the doctor...

'No, but I would like to kill dirty men.'

..................

'No,' I laugh...'I carry a banana'...I walk from room to room, being three rooms in all and a walkway where I check the red light flashing...and play emotion numbed by strong weakness and these pills that echo a reflect that my heart is affected by each knock, each dropping of objects, from upper floors, from non talking rooms, smashed not drummed...I speak different words from a different mouth, a different environment if x equals dimensions and timescales turning in three...

I can never sleep on your woman's side, for years you have suffered and thought...once there was an excuse of protection, a room with blue and orange sheets for windows...

'I have to sleep in the middle!!'

The other night, I heard rumours from the cell upstairs, threatening, when I go to read one of The Books, he smashes and drums the floor, my mind jumps to the knife...

'Please drop the knife!' cries a girl, as I walk to the door, walking these rooms with knives in my hands...It falls to the floor...I pick it up and hack lines like an ancient Irish/Gaelic alphabet of magic into a piece of timber...if I were to recompense towards any tribe or family, there being many, then I can only do so through the gift of inspiration, a renumeration...(tears are falling through my eyes each, this morning, and with thoughts of others whom risk their lives for God, i think, and last night, hearing a plane and pain, I imagined, that some of them had come home...)

I had slept with a knife by my bed in the blackout...'you have put a knife on my blue and yellow, in mourning...'
...the lion woman growls into my ear, as I lean my head on a blanket, a light shines in my brain a shift from right to left, to sleep by the knife...a sphinx, a sphinx, i imagine...

When the doctor and the workers were here, I did not feel fear but picked up the Book, read randomly...I read that I had been given a wife and am now due for Heaven, no longer a Hell, how I would like to explain this version of my Heaven to these doctors, but they do not leave...

Invisibilty, where theory equals Love for two and siding with one...'Everything in history has an eytmological speculation that all myths and historical meetings revolve around the Hebrew, and theory is these wives are not his, the one whom has a bigger knife than I'...

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